10 easy steps on how to attract a mate:

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1.Hygiene usually helps, make sure you brush your teeth and hair on a regular basis. Deodorant is also usually beneficial.

2. Learn how to play a musical instrument. Everyone knows musicians are more attractive than nonmusicians.

3. Learn to cook. Picture yourself on a beach with your other half during a sunset. But wait, something is missing. There is no food. This is a major problem, and a fatal mistake. So learn to cook or else you’ll never find a soul mate.

4. Create a newsletter telling about your life. Make at least 200 copies and post them around the campus. If you want to find someone, you have to make sure everyone knows your available.

5. Watch a lot of comedians. Tim Hawkins is a good one to get started with. Comedians are funny, and people are attracted to that. Learn tons of jokes, and then just start telling them to random people.

6. Walk around with a rose in your mouth. We’ve all seen the movies, this seems to be pretty straight forward. Remember to get a rose without thorns or this could end very badly for you.

7. Adopt a baby animal. The type of animal is up to you, but get a baby animal and walk around a public place with it. This is bound to attract all kinds of people to you.

8. Pretend to be lost or stupid or both. Go for a drive and stop wherever you see a group of people. Pull out a map, preferably one of a state in which you are not living, and ask for directions. They will have so much pity for your soul, they will probably volunteer to drive you wherever you want to go.

9. Run away from home. This seems to work pretty well for the Disney Princesses (Ariel, Rapunzel, Belle, Mulan, Jasmine, Cinderella). Apparently there’s something magical about running away that just attracts a mate.

10. Get tons of monopoly money and walk around fanning yourself with it. This implies that you’re wealthy. You might be able to attract some people with the illusion of money because apparently none of the other tips have helped you so far. This is a last resort and is only to be used if you’ve tried everything else.

 

So hopefully these tips will help you out. Go out into the world and find a mate.

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